Friday, December 17, 2010

Fun with hangovers!

After a brief discussion about the magic of tequila, I was asked to repost this old blog post from my Myspace days.  The date on the blog was Nov '06.

Coincidentally, two posts ago I said that I don't like when other people air my bad laundry, not because I'm too embarrassed to own up to it, but because I'd do it better.  I believe my words were "...even when I'm hungover, I can be a witty motherfucker!"


This sucks.
Don't drink alcohol.  Don't do drugs.  Drugs are bad, mkay.  I don't do drugs, but I did drink copious amounts of alcohol (tequila, specifically) last night.  I woke up this morning not feeling so good.  My wife told me that I had a mess to clean up in the bathroom downstairs.  Apparently I threw up.  A lot.  I don't remember this.  I had to be reminded that I lost a drinking game.  So I finally rolled out of bed at the crack of 9:30ish (if you have kids you know that that's a feat to sleep that long).  My wonderful, beautiful, gracious wife was actually sympathetic toward me (although Lord knows I didn't deserve it) and didn't make me go with her to run errands.  She's been so sweet to me today.  The only thing she asked is that I clean the bathroom.

Uh oh.

So I completely avoid the bathroom for the entire morning and I finally open the door to see what I did...

Amazingly enough it didn't look that bad.  Well on first look, at least.  It seems that I likely wiped up after myself last night.  The first thing I noticed was the smell.  Well... maybe "stench" is a more appropriate term.  It was horrible.  I shut the door and walked out.

So when I decided to tackle the job I had to prep.  First I put on long pants.  If there was puke anywhere on the floor I didn't want to get it all over me.  I couldn't find a handkerchief so I tied a necktie around my face over my nose.  I grabbed the Pine Sol and rubber gloves.  I put a beanie on.  I'm not sure why.  And then I walked in...

There was reminants of puke everywhere.  Incredibly enough the inside of the toilet was the cleanest part of the room.  A mosquito flew in and fell right out of the air.  Then he puked.  I filled the sink with water and mixed in some Pine Sol.  I grabbed a towel and went to work.   It actually didn't take that long, but good gravy, I had to scrub everything...

Well it seems to have worked out okay.  X was able to poop in there so either his stink was so bad that it masked whatever stink was still in there or I did a good enough job that the smell went away.  The lesson here, though, is that alcohol is bad.  Never ever ever ever drink it.

But I gotta go now.  The coffee is done and I gotta grab some Kaluha to mix with it.

1 comment:

  1. LOL @Kahlua. This is great, I love that you're willing to share, and I believe just about everybody I know has been in this place at least once in their life. If they are living out loud anyway.
    Thanks for sharing =)